Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
