It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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