he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
