So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
