Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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