Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I got inside last night via doggy door
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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