May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
