Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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