Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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