this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
