i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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