Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
