if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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