I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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