Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
