A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
