i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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