So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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