i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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