goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Randomize