goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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