We won't sleep together?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
