great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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