Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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