You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
