i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
