and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
