bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
