I want to stick my p in your. b.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
