dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
