I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
