Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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