don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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