i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
