I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You are the jesus of drinking
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
