Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
