I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
