Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
