I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
