i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
