He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
