the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
