we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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