How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
