Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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