I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I skipped work to stalk him.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
