my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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