she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
