If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
