And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
