I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
