are you still at the devil's house?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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